A walk in my shoes..

You never really understand a person til you've walked a mile in their shoes..I'll loan you mine so you can see the world as I do

Gratitude March 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Vaishali @ 5:03 am


I’ve finally managed to find some of the journal writing from Barbara’s class and thought to add them to this blog. The first one I’d like to share is one about gratitude.  It’s because of this assignment that I feel I have the positive outlook on life that I do. Barbara asked the class to write ten things daily for 14 days of things that we’re grateful for ; and then write about the experience. Below are excerpts from the  paper I submitted to her:

When I first sat down to write down my ten words on day one for this gratitude journal, I thought to myself how easy it would be to come up with a list of things I’m grateful for. Day one was a breeze as I thought of the many things in my day to day life I couldn’t do without ; the telephone, my alarm clock, my car, the atm card. After all, how else was i going to function if I didn’t have the basic items? As the day progressed, and more items were added to my list, I was even more convinced at the ease of this assignment.

Although I can’t recall the exact moment or thought that altered my train of reasoning for this list, I do remember that I was very busy at work the second and third day; therefore did not write the words as diligently as I had the first day. One of those evenings, I sate down to make the list and for the life of me couldn’t think of what to write.  Then I remembered that I am an avid tweeter.  I tweet all day long, any musings or random thoughts that come to mind at that moment are shared instantly. I logged onto twitter to see what I had tweeted on days two and three and from there, came to fruition an idea which I hope will be acceptable for the duration of this assignment.  I decided to review my tweets nightly to get a sense of my emotions , feelings, thoughts and as previously stated,  my musings of the day. This nightly ritual allowed me the opportunity to get a better insight of myself as a person; a second chance to look at what I was thinking and why a  particular thought was of significance . If a message had negative tone to it, I was at that point being forced to re-evaluate it to find a positive connotation from it.

As I did this more and more, night after night, I realized that although my thought may have been shared out of frustration, sanger, jealousy, inpatience or for that matter any other negative feeling, there within a messages was something to be grateful for.  An example of that is when a particular day at work was fairly hectic , ok…a bad day! In reviewing my tweets, I spoke of something a co worker ; albiet it was said in a comical way, or being overwhelmed with emails and voicemails.  I decided to look at the positive side of those thoughts and concluded that I was grateful for having  a job. Moreover, I was grateful for having a job that kept me busy enough with it’s daily idiosyncrasies that cutting my position was not an option for my department.

….I found that my gratitude for things was beyond tangible and visible things. Once the list of was complete, i had to stop to ask and remind myself that there are more things in life to be grateful for than the bed I sleep on, or the shoes that I wear. I was forced to delve my thoughts into a deeper state of awareness. I had almost forgotten that the flowers I see on the trees, the sound of the rain, the laughter of children, and loving gestures from my family all contribute to my happiness just as much , if not more than any on item that I’ve bought or can touch. It s the small things that i don’t notice or take for granted that play a bigger role and deserve to to have the acknowledgement of adding to me being a happier, aware and better person.

As a side note: Yes, like you I have bad days. Perhaps more than I care to count. The point of this blog, and more importantly the reason for my sharing these thoughts with you all is to simply keep myself from spiraling back into a dark abyss that people can so easily go back into if a positive outlook on life doesn’t become a part of them like breathing. Some may wonder why I chose to do this type of weired self therapy in such a public forum. I myself can only say that I’m the type of person that heals by sharing. Maybe I’ll stop blogging all together one day , maybe I won’t.  Until then , this works for me. I’m not sure why I felt the need to justify it , but there, it’s done. Life can once again continue.


A New Dawn a New Life

Filed under: Uncategorized — Vaishali @ 3:11 am

So, a new job, a new career, a new year, and basically a new life has been handed to me on a platter that I did not order nor expect. Waddaya do? I look at all things in front of me as a blessing! Whether it’s in the form of a plate full of sweets, or a plate full of pakoras.  Yes, I know that’s the strangest analogies but it’s perhaps the most accurate. I feel that life does not bring anything in front of you that you are not prepared to handle. The defining point of the difficulty of a situation or circumstance isn’t so much in the actual event, but in how you perceive said event to affect you . Only YOU have the power to decide if what’s presented in front of you can be utilized to your advantage and benefit as opposed to not. With the pakora example….yes, it looks deep-fried, but did you perhaps fathom the possibility that it may indeed have been baked instead; ultimately being better for you.  With that, it may seem that certain options in life presented to you are not quite as fruitful when initially presented. Yet, it’s really up to you to look beyond the facade and peels of a bruised and tattered peel to reveal the true sweet fruit that hides behind it.

I hope and pray that the decisions I’m making and the seeds that I plant today in my personal and professional life will one day prove to me and the world the sweet rewards of the dedication , passion and sacrifice towards a happier future that I dream of.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t scared. I’m in-fact more terrified now than I was 2 months ago upon starting his new job. Now, I have more of myself vested in this new front. Now, there is that fear of failure. Now the day to day commitments and obligations to the job and the family are more real and grounded. Yet, I recall from conversations and readings that it’s not the failure that fears us, it’s the fear of failure that fears us.

I am once again reminded of something I read by Paulo Coelho ” The fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself.“Be strong even through your fears!” -@PauloCoelho.

Time to toss in that fear and hesitation soaked towel and exchange it for one that will not accept anything but confidence , drive and success.!



Closing Doors February 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Vaishali @ 10:43 pm

By now, some of you may have realized that my favorite book in existence is non other than “The Alchemist” written by Paulo Coelho. The excerpt below is from his blog. I find most of his posts to be very interesting and can apply bits and pieces of the wisdom attained from them to my daily life.

This particular one hits a little closer to home as I feel that I’m at a period in my life that is closing the doors to a somewhat tumultuous and drama filled past ~ I am instead embarking on a new , positive  and exciting adventure in my life.  This new adventure will only bring me sweet results if however I am truly able to shut the doors to the past completely and embrace the future with a clean slate.

A powerful message that The Universe unfolded to me this past week, and more so these past 2 days was allowing me to see with open and clear eyes that as much as I love to dream and wish for every situation presented to me as perfection; within the perfect facade are the imperfect cracks that I and only I refused to see and acknowledge.  To be specific, I held in high regard a friendship that over time I have decided is best labeled as an acquaintanceship. Why? Because it’s just now that I’m acknowledging the lack of importance for me in this person’s life. A person that I sadly had placed at a very high place in my life. It’s not to say that this individual isn’t special to me anymore, it’s that they are as special to me as I am to them. There’s finally a balance. With the acknowledgment of this new order or balance in the relationship, I find it quite interesting that a feeling of sadness or disappointment that would have at one time consumed my very thought and being has been replaced by a feeling of  indifference.

So, in short, this is what prompted me to share the latest Paulo Coelho blog post.  I suppose with the way I believe in signs, the post I’m sharing below is being seen by me as confirmation and reiteration to continue with the process of closing the door behind me completely.

How do you make peace with a negative past and with those who have wronged you? (By Alex)

In order to move from the past to the present you need to accept your scars. But you need to do everything in your power in order to heal them so that the ghosts of your past will no longer barge in your present life.

It is a long and difficult process I grant you – but it’s a way out of guilt and hatred in my eyes.

How does one keep enthusiasm, especially when you meet people who are well.. scary and mean?
(By Gina)

It’s normal that we don’t always keep our enthusiasm in front of obstacles. Indeed some people truly make an effort in destroying our plans and hopes and so they appear as evil.

But in these moments, if you are able to remind yourself of the reason of your actions and also see that those that are committed in creating pain around them are actually their first victims – then you may at least find an extra dose of consolation in your path. Ally yourself with those that wish you the best and don’t give strength to those that want to see you down. Don’t even grant them the right to be called your “enemies”.

How do you stop sadness? (By Nuri)

By welcoming it and living it intensively for a determined amount of period. In my case I give myself three days to be completely submersed in this feeling.

Once I’ve let sadness pay me a visit, then I kindly ask it to leave. Sadness is then satisfied and leaves.



And then there was light… February 4, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Vaishali @ 7:12 am

Driving down San Mateo Bridge at the cusp of daylight and sunset meeting, I was busily dreaming of so many things.

  • Admiring the Rose kissed sky as it transitioned from day to night.
  • Soaking in the calming vibes the ocean sent my way as I drove over her majestic and embracing arms
  • Thinking of a scenario that will only solidify my faith in the “Universe”.

Insert record scratch sound effect here:

Let me explain: This is an excerpt from my “other blog” ; which goes into much more detail about the who/what/ why of this insane revelation. I refrain from sharing the details here as this is my “known” persona therefor;  I have to be cautious of revealing people and places. The only reason I’m adding this excerpt from the other blog to this one is that it seemed to be in sync with the whole spirituality, positive thoughts, Ask Believe Receive tone here.

Moving forward with the story ~ I was being typical me and imagining a bollywood song scene where 2 star crossed lovers are prancing around in a field full of flowers ; singing about their eternal love to each other type scene  with the below thought in my mind. Or something similar to that. Read on:

“… It’ll only reconfirm my faith in the universe and the whole “it’s meant to be” concept” Better yet, wouldn’t it be something if there was a sign right NOW!”

No sooner had the thought “NOW” crossed my mind, ALL of the lights on the bridge literally lit up … as if in a way, illuminating the path ahead for me and also so that I can see more clearly ; Literally and Figureativley.

I know it seems very insignificant to anyone but me! But the moment all 3 of these things connected at the same exact instant, a light flashed in my mind and I felt to my core that everything was falling into place. For some insane reason, I started to giggle with giddiness in  anticipation of what wonderful surprises  life await me. The giggles soon turned into full-blown laughter. Anyone driving along side me would’ve taken a second glance and wondered what in the world I was doing!

I don’t know if it’s wishful thinking or the hopeless romantic in me dreaming of  such a bollyesque run in. Whatever the case, I thought it to be very typical and significant at a time that I feel life is handing G-O-O-D to me on a silver platter in more ways than I had ever dreamt , expected or believed I deserved. I suppose  because of the good happening that I didn’t ask for , I’m more receptive and aware of the good surrounding me!

This may not make sense to any of you , and that’s quite ok…I just needed to get these thoughts down and out of my head …Thank you all for indulging me in my moody madness.

**  NOT SO FINE PRINT** If you think you know who the other me is, no need to DM or @ message me as I will ignore it.  I DO believe in the don’t ask don’t tell policy when it comes to that.


The Sleeping Giant awakens January 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Vaishali @ 5:02 am


Last year, I had an opportunity to take a creative writing class in which by the end of the semester, the instructor turned out to be my mentor. She helped me transform into what I hope is an ambassador of positivity that I am today. One of the exercises we did in class was for 14 days to write ten things per day that we were grateful for in our life. At the end of the 14 days,the class was instructed to write about our experience of doing the gratitude journal. Mind you , this was not a paper about what we were grateful for, rather the experience. Long story short, days 1-3 were filled with tangible items. However; something clicked within me that made me start noticing things beyond my phone, car, shoes, food etc that contribute to my being. Things that we don’t perhaps notice and take for granted, yet we should  acknowledge. The paragraph below is an excerpt from my paper; a summation of the light bulb radiating that was the end result of this exercise.


As the days progressed to day four to day eight to day ten and finally fourteen, it seemed as if I was beginning to see things in my daily life as well as in some reflective moments of the past  in a much more positive light than I have in any other time in my life.  I found that my gratitude for things was beyond tangible and visible things. Once the list of those items had been filled, I had to stop and ask myself , remind myself that there are more things in my life to be grateful for than the bed I sleep on, or the shoes that I wear. I was forced to delve my thoughts into a deeper state of awareness. I had almost forgotten that the flowers I see on the trees, the sound of the rain, the laughter of the children, and loving gestures from my family contribute to my happiness just as much , if not even greater than any one item that I’ve bought or can touch. Its the small things that I don’t notice or seem to take for granted that play a bigger role and deserve to have the acknowledgment of adding to my day to day happiness ; which in turn contributes in the bigger scheme of things to my becoming a more aware and better person

The reason I’m blogging about this today is that I’m  reminded once again of how fortunate I’ve been in the recent months with the opportunities presented to me and the people that have come into my life. For what seems like an eternity, I’ve felt that circumstances beyond my control had placed me in a position that set me up for anything but success and happiness.  The reflective lesson learned via this gratitude journal experience revealed itself and made me realize how I overlooked the many positive instances and situations that were perhaps in front of me all the time. Things that I was possibly overlooking because I was too busy focusing on the negativity of the situation rather than seeing it instead in a positive light. I have decided to keep a gratitude journal and document daily the things I am grateful for daily as a way to keep reminding myself that life is good; and only becomes better if I allow it to!



Late night what if random thoughts…. December 9, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Vaishali @ 9:42 am

Ever have a time in your life that you question your path, faith, decisions and goals? Sadly, we allow these types of thoughts to become the foundation to a weak self-esteem , the crumbling of a dream, and a damper to any motivation that may have been the driving force to keep chugging along. It takes strong will power , determination , force , inspiration and above all hope to realize that all is not lost! It’s seems to be taking more and more as the days go on for me to continually try to convince myself that I am on the right path…I am striving for the best future for my kids and I..yet, every which way that I turn, I see one roadblock, high peak, rougher road and harder tasks that leads towards the Paradise and Oasis I can see in a distance. My optimistic mindset refuses to allow me to see the anything but the end result. Yet the realist in me is forcing me to acknowledge the resistance I’m facing in today and now . What else can I do but to rely upon my faith, determination,willingness to survive and strive to outplay this love hate relationship of survival of the fittest that seems to have borne itself from nowhere. I’ve never given up on anything in life that I’ve believed in. I’ll be damned if another test in the guise of an obstacle to suede me from achieving any goals or dreams I have my heart set upon. So, to those annoying hindrances, speed bumps, jolts or what have you….I got this! You don’t!


I’d give up forever to touch you cause I know that you feel me somehow December 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Vaishali @ 8:13 pm

Iris – Goo Goo Dolls

I’d give up forever to touch you

cause I know that you feel me somehow

You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be

And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Cause sooner or later it’s over

I just don’t want to miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me

Cause I don’t think that they’d understand

When everything’s made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything seems like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know your alive