Gratitude March 20, 2011

 

I’ve finally managed to find some of the journal writing from Barbara’s class and thought to add them to this blog. The first one I’d like to share is one about gratitude.  It’s because of this assignment that I feel I have the positive outlook on life that I do. Barbara asked the class to write ten things daily for 14 days of things that we’re grateful for ; and then write about the experience. Below are excerpts from the  paper I submitted to her:

When I first sat down to write down my ten words on day one for this gratitude journal, I thought to myself how easy it would be to come up with a list of things I’m grateful for. Day one was a breeze as I thought of the many things in my day to day life I couldn’t do without ; the telephone, my alarm clock, my car, the atm card. After all, how else was i going to function if I didn’t have the basic items? As the day progressed, and more items were added to my list, I was even more convinced at the ease of this assignment.

Although I can’t recall the exact moment or thought that altered my train of reasoning for this list, I do remember that I was very busy at work the second and third day; therefore did not write the words as diligently as I had the first day. One of those evenings, I sate down to make the list and for the life of me couldn’t think of what to write.  Then I remembered that I am an avid tweeter.  I tweet all day long, any musings or random thoughts that come to mind at that moment are shared instantly. I logged onto twitter to see what I had tweeted on days two and three and from there, came to fruition an idea which I hope will be acceptable for the duration of this assignment.  I decided to review my tweets nightly to get a sense of my emotions , feelings, thoughts and as previously stated,  my musings of the day. This nightly ritual allowed me the opportunity to get a better insight of myself as a person; a second chance to look at what I was thinking and why a  particular thought was of significance . If a message had negative tone to it, I was at that point being forced to re-evaluate it to find a positive connotation from it.

As I did this more and more, night after night, I realized that although my thought may have been shared out of frustration, sanger, jealousy, inpatience or for that matter any other negative feeling, there within a messages was something to be grateful for.  An example of that is when a particular day at work was fairly hectic , ok…a bad day! In reviewing my tweets, I spoke of something a co worker ; albiet it was said in a comical way, or being overwhelmed with emails and voicemails.  I decided to look at the positive side of those thoughts and concluded that I was grateful for having  a job. Moreover, I was grateful for having a job that kept me busy enough with it’s daily idiosyncrasies that cutting my position was not an option for my department.

….I found that my gratitude for things was beyond tangible and visible things. Once the list of was complete, i had to stop to ask and remind myself that there are more things in life to be grateful for than the bed I sleep on, or the shoes that I wear. I was forced to delve my thoughts into a deeper state of awareness. I had almost forgotten that the flowers I see on the trees, the sound of the rain, the laughter of children, and loving gestures from my family all contribute to my happiness just as much , if not more than any on item that I’ve bought or can touch. It s the small things that i don’t notice or take for granted that play a bigger role and deserve to to have the acknowledgement of adding to me being a happier, aware and better person.

As a side note: Yes, like you I have bad days. Perhaps more than I care to count. The point of this blog, and more importantly the reason for my sharing these thoughts with you all is to simply keep myself from spiraling back into a dark abyss that people can so easily go back into if a positive outlook on life doesn’t become a part of them like breathing. Some may wonder why I chose to do this type of weired self therapy in such a public forum. I myself can only say that I’m the type of person that heals by sharing. Maybe I’ll stop blogging all together one day , maybe I won’t.  Until then , this works for me. I’m not sure why I felt the need to justify it , but there, it’s done. Life can once again continue.

Quotes, Inspiration, Wisdom etc….

 

It’s been a while since my last post here so I thought to jot down a few things on my mind. It seems I’m at another cross-road in my life that requires a bit of guidance from the all-wise one (if there’s such a being) . Until I’m able to figure out who or what this wise entity is, I turn to my saviors at the moment ….quotes and words of wisdom from the entire world, courtesy of the world-wide web. Below is a collection of some quotes and sayings that I found to be useful in uplifting my spirits when I was down. Some helped shed the light on perhaps a complex situation while others served as reminder on a simpler scale of the humanity factor within all of us. I’ll add to this post as I come across more quotes, with the most recent towards the top.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”

The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan

I don’t want to get 2 the end of my life & find I lived just the length of it. I want 2 have lived the width of it as well. -Diane Ackerman

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.” – Ryunosuke Satoro

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, & life’s worthwhile. -Unknown

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

A New Dawn a New Life

So, a new job, a new career, a new year, and basically a new life has been handed to me on a platter that I did not order nor expect. Waddaya do? I look at all things in front of me as a blessing! Whether it’s in the form of a plate full of sweets, or a plate full of pakoras.  Yes, I know that’s the strangest analogies but it’s perhaps the most accurate. I feel that life does not bring anything in front of you that you are not prepared to handle. The defining point of the difficulty of a situation or circumstance isn’t so much in the actual event, but in how you perceive said event to affect you . Only YOU have the power to decide if what’s presented in front of you can be utilized to your advantage and benefit as opposed to not. With the pakora example….yes, it looks deep-fried, but did you perhaps fathom the possibility that it may indeed have been baked instead; ultimately being better for you.  With that, it may seem that certain options in life presented to you are not quite as fruitful when initially presented. Yet, it’s really up to you to look beyond the facade and peels of a bruised and tattered peel to reveal the true sweet fruit that hides behind it.

I hope and pray that the decisions I’m making and the seeds that I plant today in my personal and professional life will one day prove to me and the world the sweet rewards of the dedication , passion and sacrifice towards a happier future that I dream of.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t scared. I’m in-fact more terrified now than I was 2 months ago upon starting his new job. Now, I have more of myself vested in this new front. Now, there is that fear of failure. Now the day to day commitments and obligations to the job and the family are more real and grounded. Yet, I recall from conversations and readings that it’s not the failure that fears us, it’s the fear of failure that fears us.

I am once again reminded of something I read by Paulo Coelho ” The fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself.“Be strong even through your fears!” -@PauloCoelho.

Time to toss in that fear and hesitation soaked towel and exchange it for one that will not accept anything but confidence , drive and success.!